


Mac Fucks God

by Megalomaniacal



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Blow Jobs, Closeted Character, Gay, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, MacDennis - Freeform, Oral Sex, Religious Guilt, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 01:52:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalomaniacal/pseuds/Megalomaniacal
Summary: Mac tried his best not to be gay.





	Mac Fucks God

Gay. Mac was extremely, painfully, reluctantly gay. In fact, Dennis had never met anyone gayer. He was annoyed, however, at how forcefully Mac denied it. The dude slept with a tranny, for gods sake. He got turned on by a penis- so why the hell did he never respond to any of Dennis's advances or implications? Hell, he watched Dennis's sex tape. He jerked off walking Dennis's balls move around. If that wasn't gay, Dennis didn't know what it was. 

Mac, on the other hand, didn't think he acted gay at all. Gay men didn't work out like he did- he was pumped, strong- way too hot to be gay. He was a total chick magnet. It wasn't like he took dick up the ass, he'd never had anything up his ass, and that was very straight. The only thing ever to go up his ass was the will of God. 

Jerking off to a naked man on a cross was not gay. It was just being devoted to his religion. God would appreciate Mac devoting pleasure to him. Even if Dennis disagreed. He really, really didn't appreciate it when Dennis walked into his room without knocking. 

"Mac, this is gay. Jacking off to a man is gay, dude, you've admitted it before. It's not like anyone actually cares if you come out." 

"It is not gay, Dennis. God is not gay and neither is devoting yourself to him!" Mac argued, pants around his ankles, staring away from both Dennis and the crucifix on the wall. Heaven was pleasing, and so was grabbing his dick. His come was white like the clouds that God lived above, his orgasm coming in waves of pleasure- just like the waves that Moses parted in the bible. It wasn't gay at all. 

Dennis scoffed. Mac's dick was still out, come still smeared on his stomach, and he was trying to act like he was at church or some bullshit. "Bro. Between you and me, this is really, really gay. It's even weirder than that framed picture of your dad on your nightstand."

"I do not-" Mac leaned over, quickly slapping the frame upside down. "Shut up, Dennis. Why are you in here anyway?"

"Predator Tuesday, dude." He held up the movie case, smirk growing on his lips. "You didn't forget, did you? Too busy jerking off to the big man upstairs-"

"Dude! Shut up!" Mac struggled to pull his pants up, buttoning them without even caring to wipe away the drying come on his skin. "I am not gay!" 

Dennis raised his hands in the air, grinning and stepping back into the doorway. "Alright, dude. Totally straight. You have fun now." He stepped out of the room, letting the door fall shut. 

Well fuck. 

It wasn't that Mac had anything against gay people, it just wasn't natural. It wasn't like he could bang Dennis and get him knocked up, god no. That wasn't even possible. There was no way that being gay even made sense. Balls were weird- especially Dennis's- and guys just didn't have pussy. Sure he'd fucked Carmen in the ass, but that was different. It wasn't gay when he did it. And the few times he'd admitted to being gay? He just felt... pressured. If he was gay he'd wear skinny jeans and crop tops and shake his ass, he'd wear makeup and he wouldn't be so muscular- he totally wasn't a twink- and he'd probably love shopping. If anything, Dennis was the gay one. Yeah. Dennis, with his slender figure and perfectly soft and done-up hair, his tight pants and carefully planned outfits, his scented shampoos and lotions, the way he moaned when he was jerking off and the way he danced by grinding his hips and-

Mac nodded, fixing the picture of Luther on his nightstand. If anyone was gay, it was his spandex-wearing roommate, not him. He straightened up some stuff in his room (mostly his thoughts), and headed out to sit on the couch with Dennis. 

Except he didn't like sitting on couches with naked men. That was gay. And Dennis was, well, naked, and sprawled out across the couch. 

"Dude! When the fuck did you get naked? Not cool, man, your balls are rubbing all over the- bro! That's a good couch!" Mac whined. Really, neither of them were supposed to be naked in the shared area of the apartment. Sweaty balls on the couch? That was a no. 

Dennis laughed, "Mac. I bought this couch. I own it. I'll rub my ball sweat all over this thing and you can't do a single thing about it."

"Dude, come on, that's gross. That's like, Charlie level gross."

"You have dried come on your clothes from jerking off to Jesus and you wanna call me gross?"

Mac furrowed his eyebrows and huffed, crossing his arms. Who gave Dennis the right to be so critical anyway? He was ruining Predator Tuesday and Mac didn't appreciate it. 

Dennis's voice quickly ruined Mac's thoughts as well. "You know what dude? I haven't been blown in a while."

"And how it that my problem in any way?" Mac threw his hands up, staring in disbelief at his best friend. "Go to the bars gloryhole or something! Not my problem!" 

Dennis would have laughed if not for his excellent sense of self control. "You act as if I asked for you to solve the problem. I was just telling you man. Bro to bro." He paused for a moment. "Just like that time you told me to try anal."

"Oh my- for god's sake Dennis- we agreed not to talk about that!"

"Did you suck Carmen's dick?"

"No, Dennis! No! I'm not gay! No!" Mac kicked the couch, almost immediately shouting out curses and grabbing his foot in pain. It was a typical Mac thing to do. React physically to anger and end up overestimating strength and getting hurt. 

"So, Charlie told me-"

"Do not listen to anything that Charlie tells you dude. You're talking about the man who wrote a musical about dudes breaking in and raping you. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Dude- he eats cat food to help him sleep. He stalks the waitress, bro."

"So he's definitely straight, and you're totally gay. Dude. You jack off to my sex tapes. You wear the duster that I wear shirtless. All of your shirts are my old shirts."

Mac narrowed his eyes into a glare, shaking his head. "Dennis Reynolds, I am not gay."

Dennis ignored him. "Anyway, Charlie said that when he came over here one day he had to leave because he heard you jerking off to me."

"He's a liar!" Mac exclaimed, a little too loud and a little too fast. "I don't jerk off thinking about my best friend, dude, that's gross. I jerk off to, like, big tits. Massive tits. Giant, firm breasts that I can-"

"Oh my god Mac shut up. Dude, I don't care if you're gay. I just need to know if I'm getting blown or not." 

Mac looked both shocked and offended. "I am not gay! I do not take dicks in my mouth!"

"But Carmen-"

"That's different! I didn't- she-"

"It's fine. I get it, man. You just give really bad head and don't want to be judged. I get it." Dennis sighed, voice falsely apologetic. 

"Are you ten years old? Dude I'm not falling for that shit."

"I get it, sucking off Carmen just didn't work out. It's embarrassing when someone goes soft during a blowjob. It's okay dude."

"You- you fucker-" Mac snapped, moving down onto the floor in front of the couch. "I am not bad at blowjobs. Fuck you. Sit up so I can reach your stupid penis."

Dennis would have laughed if- well, he did laugh. He couldn't help it. Mac looked so angry and pouty kneeling down at his feet, lips wet and plump- likely from Mac chewing on them- and leaning in as Dennis sat up. He could see more than just the typical competitive spirit in Mac's expression. The way Mac licked his lips, the lingering gaze on the semi-hard length of Dennis's cock, the shifting to find a comfortable position. It wasn't as if Mac had never seen his cock before, he'd just never been kneeling before it with parted lips. It took Dennis by surprise when those lips wrapped around the head of his cock. 

Dennis, Mac decided, felt warm and soft on his tongue, precome sticky and just a little bit salty. It wasn't a bad taste. Tasted totally different than a girl, no bitter sweetness on his tongue. Tasted like Dennis. He could smell the little bit of sweat sticky on Dennis's thighs, the fruity scented lotion he rubbed all over his body, the smell just a tiny bit stronger when he took in more of Dennis's cock. He sucked gently, eyes fluttering shut as he felt it swelling, heavy and hard on his tongue, taking in more and more until his nose was pressed to the smooth skin at the base. His best friends cock was shoved down his throat and he didn't even gag. He could taste him, just a bit salty, and his own cock was straining against his pants as if he hadn't came just ten minutes ago. 

His body trembled when Dennis's fingers gently slid into his hair, tangling in it, tugging softly as the words "Good, baby boy. Keep going," slid from Dennis's lips. Mac let out the tiniest moan, the sound causing vibrations against Dennis's cock. If Dennis knew Mac's mouth felt this good, he would've tricked him into sucking him off way sooner. 

Mac's tongue swirled around the head, swiping up thick beads of precome as he sucked softly, slowly, bobbing his head up and down just a tiny bit. His eyes were closed but he opened them ever so slightly to look up at when Dennis said, "Look at me baby boy." He had Dennis's cock in his mouth. Dennis was calling him baby. He whimpered, cock straining uncomfortably in his pants. He had to remind himself not to act shocked or jump when the toe of Dennis's shoe pressed between his legs, pushing against the bulge in his pants. 

Finally, as if the slight bucking of Mac's hips was some sort of invitation, Dennis firmly gripped Mac's hair and thrusted up into his mouth, smirking when he gagged, throat constricting around his cock. He did it again, enjoying Mac's reaction, before picking up a steady pace of fucking into Mac's mouth. He could see his eyes watering and his throat working not to gag, still maintaining eye contact. Mac's throat was hot and wet, feeling heavenly as Dennis thruster into it, fucking his best friend's face while grinding the heel of his shoe against his cock. His cock twitched in his mouth as Mac moaned, hips twitching and trying to grind against Dennis's shoe. "Gross," Dennis gasped quietly, forcing a soft, breathy laugh. "Fuck, Mac. Gonna make me come baby boy. Gonna make me come." 

Mac's eyebrows raised and he started sucking harder before letting his jaw go slack, letting Dennis roughly fuck into his mouth, taking what he wanted, pulling Mac off so his lips were wrapped around only the head as he came. Mac moaned, sucking again, sucking up Dennis's come and swallowing the bitter, sticky, substance. Dennis came in his mouth. His mind was racing, body shuddering as he came in his pants, panting and arching his back, the taste of Dennis's come still on his tongue. 

He trembled as he came down from the orgasm, muscles relaxing as Dennis played gently with his hair, murmuring "Good boy," just barely loud enough to hear.


End file.
